It has been a strange year so far. Good and bad things have happened. Good things have come as the consequence of some bad things, and I have learned a lot. I’ve grown closer to the important people in my life and I have grown closer to myself. Six weeks ago, I was feeling very accomplished and very much on track. Recently I have felt like I’ve slipped.
I started racing again this past spring after two years of casual maintenance running. I ran four half marathons in less than three months and I managed to PR each time, improving by almost twenty minutes from my first race in May to my most recent in July. I came off the most recent race feeling very strong and ready to start training for a fall marathon, prepared to smash my two and a half year old marathon time and dive back into this sport with momentum. But a lot has been happening, and like I said, I slipped.
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| A sweet shot from a recent 15 miler in Killarney, Ireland. Check out those Mushas ;) |
I have been fighting tooth and nail to balance my life and have been yoyo-ing with injury for the past few weeks. I just moved three and a half thousand miles from my home and am overwhelmed readjusting to this secondary home while trying to organize my future. I have had a lot on my plate. Runs have been skipped, core and strength training has gone amiss. My goal marathon is in 11 weeks and I’m finding myself to be far from the shape that I need to be in order to achieve the goals that I have had set in my mind for months.
11 weeks out, my goal of finishing the Dublin marathon in 3:22 is no longer realistic. In order to come in even 20 minutes of the time I have been dreaming of, I would have to ramp up the intensity and mileage in my training very quickly and drastically right now. The diehard runner in me, the do-anything-for-the-dream fighter, wants me to do that. But the pain in my hip and the long term dreams that follow me throughout each and every run and sleep are convincing me to shush this wild side and approach this racing season differently- more intelligently, more safely, and with the big picture in mind.
I am almost embarrassed to say, much less put in writing, that I would like to someday be a sponsored runner, run sub-3:00, run with the elites (or on their heels. or somewhere in the same timezone as their heels). It’s a laughable notion, really. But I am a fighter. I am stubborn, and I am passionate. The love that I have for this sport runs (excuse to pun) deeper than I could describe. With a long term plan, intelligent decisions, and maintenance of the grit that has brought me this far, not just through running but through the strange events of my life, I can achieve whatever I want. It will take years on end, but my physical (running) accomplishments will some day match the fight that I have inside of me.
So here I go with those intelligent decisions. Now is the time for me to build some very solid groundwork for future marathon training. It is not the time to rush out 2 and a half months of hasty, risky work to achieve a marathon time that I am not fully content with. At the risk of injury to my body and my psyche, it is not worth it to run this marathon.
It is more important to me right now to relax into a gradual increase in training. I want to start from the ground up and build myself into a better runner. To do this, I need to take a step back. I need to make more modest time and distance goals and focus on the little things in my every day running routine. If I take my time now, I know that I will be stronger and more prepared to take on bigger goals in the coming months and years. And did I mention nutrition? Still have to get that under control.
I have chosen a half marathon in early December that I can set my focus on. It is not a big race with a lot of spectators, it is not a course with a gorgeous view. It is just timed exactly right. I will spend the next 17 weeks really getting my strength, speed and rhythm back (and PRing the shit out that 13.1) before going all out for a spring marathon and getting close to that 3:00 that I am reaching for.
It’s almost crushing to think that I won’t be running the Dublin marathon this year; I have been envisioning the finish line of this race for longer than I can say. But I am setting myself up for a bigger future in running, and whatever that ends up meaning is okay with me. It’s not all about one finish line.
P.S. I know that I've neglecting this running blog, but it's time to revive it! I've got a lot to talk about, and I promise it won't all be so serious and self-centered :)
