Strength in a song

It was my birthday this week!  I am now 21 and can officially get a big girl horizontal license the next time I venture back to NJ.

My friend Cliodhna, who is awesome in all sorts of ways, got us tickets to see Bon Iver at the Grand Canal Theatre in Dublin on the night of my birthday.  I know I'm pretty flowery with words sometimes, but I can't come up with a way to articulate how breathtaking and incredible it was. If you EVER have the chance to go see this band live, don't hesitate for even a second: do it.


You know how some songs just completely transport you back into a memory at the second you hear the first note?  The first song the band played was the opening track off of their new self-titled album.  This song takes me back to earlier this year.  At that time I was just trying to get back into running after months of slowly feeling more and more defeated by my reemerged sickness.  I was on the treadmill every day, struggling to crank out just two slow miles, simply to feel accomplished and alive in the midst of my illness.

I would almost always play this album first thing when my feet hit the treadmill.  You know how those first few steps are always the hardest?  Well, these felt impossible.  But when I would hit 2:32 in this song, I was transformed.  In those moments on the treadmill, no longer feeling dehydrated and tired, I went from defeated to unstoppable.  The energy at that moment in this song is overwhelming, and it made me feel like I could do anything.

Now, whenever I hear this song, I slip right back into that feeling of empowerment.  Whatever I am struggling with at the time, whether it be a bout of homesickness or the first mile of a run, I know that I can not just overcome it, but that I can thrive in it and make it mine.

I know it might not have the same effect on everyone, but it might have one on you.  Give this song a listen from the beginning.  It just might change your life ;)

Embracing the pain: how to survive a hell of a tempo

I’m back on a marathon training schedule, and it feels good.  Today called for my first tempo run in what feels like forever, but actually has only been two months or so.  

The plan was 1 mile warm up, 4 miles at 7:53 pace, 1 mile cool down.  In July and August, this would have been a pleasantly zippy run that wouldn’t have left me entirely breathless.  This time around though, it was tough.

I did, however, manage these splits:

9:03   7:49   7:54   7:43   7:34   9:30

I’ll admit right here and now, this was too ambitious of a pace for me right now.  Considering that I am just coming off of injury, I should have calculated my expectations for this workout differently.  However, I am stubborn and was unwilling to change my plan once I hit the road and actually managed some pretty sweet splits in the end. (Admission: I did have to stop a few times to toss my cookies, so my legs got a few seconds to recharge each time.  Puking is a normalcy for me, though, and isn’t necessarily an indicator of effort.  Also, have you ever thought about how difficult it is to puke discretely in an urban environment?)

I was really struggling on this run, but I got myself through with good results by employing some mental strategies.  I have been doing this more and more as I have been taking my workouts more seriously over the last year, and brain games really help me through the rough patches.  

When it comes down to it, your body is going to perform as well as you allow it in runs like this.  Sometimes all you need to bring out what you have deep inside you is a change in your thought patterns while you’re pounding it out.

So, without further ado: 

How to survive a bitch of a tempo, as prescribed by me:

1.  Focus on your form

When I am doing a speedy run and am really hurting, I try to take the energy that I am using to focus on my discomfort and use it instead to zero in on my form. Today I found that I was telling myself, “knees, knees, knees,” for a solid five minutes, focusing entirely on my knee lift for that period of time.

Are your knees lifting high enough to reflect the pace that you are aiming for?  Are you running tall with your chest forward? Are your arms swinging with the pace of your feet, elbows bent at 90º?  Are landing on and launching off of your forefoot?  Basically, it comes down to: are you running proudly?  

Running proudly and with the proper form, first of all gives your brain something practical and active to focus on, and secondly helps you run faster without really realizing it or putting in extra effort.  

After snapping out of my knee lift focus today, I glanced down at my watch and noticed that my pace had gone from 7:52 to 7:44 like it was nothing.  I even felt like I was running easier than I was before I started my form stint.  Look, guys, “knees, knees, knees,” works!

2. No negative self talk

Growing up playing a lot of sports, I’ve had a lot of different coaches with a variety of coaching styles...  the screaming tyrants to the coaxing buddy buddies.  And now, as my own coach, I’ve found that neither of these methods get me anywhere.  If I talk myself down in a workout, (i.e. “why can’t I keep that pace? I absolutely suck.  If I don’t make this next split I am giving up on myself.”) I will crumble and fail.  If I am too easy on myself, (i.e. “it’s okay if I slow down a bit here, I’m doing what I can.  Slow and steady works in the end,”) I don’t push hard enough and I am disappointed with myself later.  

To achieve great workouts, you have to encourage yourself. 

“I know I can do this.  I am a runner.  This is tough, but it’s what I’m made for.”

You can not grow as a runner or person if you are constantly talking yourself down.  On the other hand, you can’t cushion yourself too much either.  You have to find a medium between the screaming tyrant and the coaxing buddy buddy: push yourself but don’t beat yourself up.  Know that you can achieve more and bring yourself to a higher level, but don’t go screaming at yourself or throwing your lacrosse stick across the field when the going gets tough.  I mean, uh, don’t go throwing your running shoes across the street.

If you ever find yourself thinking negative thoughts, or having a general negative attitude towards yourself or your performance during a run, STOP it.  You're getting nowhere with that crap.

3. Embrace the pain

No beating around the bush here: running hurts.  But there is a beauty in that.  

This is WHY you train.  You work for this pain so that you can become a stronger runner and a better person.  You aren’t just lollygagging around the block to look good in a bikini.  You are testing your limits to compete against yourself, to achieve something you thought you never could.  You are kicking ASS.  If a tempo run hurts, you know that you are working towards something great.  

Make it worth it; make that hour of sheer hurt count.  Work through every step of that workout and build yourself into something great.

This mindset is especially helpful to tap into in the last mile of your tempo, when you feel like all hope for survival has been lost, or, god forbid, that it’s not worth it anymore.  It is worth it.  Keep going.

Anyway, I hope these mental techniques help you.  They sure help me.  Badabing badaboom.

Happy running!

Marathon training, here I come

Today is day 1 of my 16-week marathon training plan!  My hip is finally starting to cooperate with me and it's time to get going.

I've chosen a pretty non-traditional race in terms of season, and will (fingers crossed) be running the Midwinter Marathon in Apeldoorn, Netherlands.  I wouldn't ideally choose to run a marathon in sub-zero temperatures, but missing out on the Dublin Marathon has been getting me down and I need to work towards something.  Plus, I may not be living in Ireland this time next year, and I want to get in as many European races as I can!  One last winning point for this race: running a marathon at the beginning of February allows me enough time to rest and train for a late-spring race as well.

It's just starting to turn frosty here in Dublin, so I'm going to have to get acclimated to running in the cold pretty quickly.  I'm cool with that (...bah-dum chhhh).  When training for my first marathon, I remember running a 7 mile tempo outside in the middle of a blizzard, through 2 feet of snow, because the roads and gyms were closed and I couldn't get to a treadmill.  Paces weren't quite accurate, but it was an experience and one thing is for sure: running through extreme weather toughens you up and makes you proud to be as crazy as you are.  So, Midwinter Marathon, bring it on!

My training plan is very mild, as I'm still very wary of my hip.  Only four runs per week for now- one tempo or speed session, one long, and two easy.  I'll be cross training on the other days.  Once I build strength and am sure my hip isn't going to wig out, I'll add another speed session.

I have a time goal in mind, but I'll reassess in a few weeks to see that it is feasible.  I (think) am okay with loosening up my expectations on myself this time around- this is a serious reintroduction for me and I am legitimately scared of injuring myself again. If I play my cards right and don't push too hard, I could get a strong race out of this one and be ready to train for a speedy one in May or June.  We'll see how it goes!

RECIPE: Who needs gluten when you have nutella?

A few months ago, I went on a gluten-free kick to see if wheat/gluten was the underlying cause of some of my tummy troubles.  After a few weeks, I didn’t see any difference in the behavior of my lovely stomach and stopped my ban. 

My sister Jacqui, however, has found out that gluten is in fact the root of her digestive woes.  So lately I have been dabbling with gluten-free baking, just to see if I can get the hang of it.  

Whether it’s the caring sister in me, or the need to conquer every non-traditional challenge that I can be faced with (it’s both), I’ve been experimenting and coming up with some tasty results.

I made a batch of gluten free nutella brownies yesterday on a whim and they were a huge success.  All of my housemates (none of whom are GF and some of whom think gluten-free = taste-free) gobbled them up.  That is the definition of a gluten-free win.

So I decided to make another batch today and make a photo guide so that you can enjoy these moist, delicious treats yourself.

***DISCLAIMER:  I... interpret recipes very loosely.  Stuck between british and american measurement units, I do not measure.  I sort of create as I go and add things by feel, so I’ve done my best to give you some sort of quantities to reference if you try making these.***

Okay.  Here we go!

Sarah's Measure-Free Gluten-Free NUTELLA Brownies

(dedicated to Jacqui)

Things you will need:

Light brown sugar (approximately 1/2 cup)

2 eggs

Some vanilla extract (a teaspoon or two)

A bunch of nutella (most of a 300g jar)

Butter, melted (approximately 1/2 cup)

Gluten-free flour mixture (approximately 1/2 cup)

**I used Doves Farm Plain White Flour Blend- I’ll go over the components to it later**

Salt (~1/4 teaspoon)

A dash of milk (lactose free, soy, normal, or whatever)

A few drops of water

Brown sugar of some quantity, 2 eggs, and some vanilla

Beat together brown sugar, eggs, and vanilla.  I don’t have an electric mixer so I just went at it with a spoon until it was blended together.  It looks runny, icky, and awful after this part.  That’s okay.

Next, add nutella.  A LOT of nutella.  The first time, I used about 3/4 of a 400g jar. Shay said the nutella taste wasn’t really distinct (even though the brownies were bitchin’) so this time I used nearly the whole jar.  Just enough left over the spread on a banana.. mmm =]

Nutella all mixed in!

Anyway, beat that in until everything is combined.  Now it’ll start lookin good... really good.

Now it’s time to add in the melted butter.  I am guessing I used about 1/2 cup, but really, the best measurement I can give you is “about this much”:

"this much" butter.  Or.. ~ 1/2 cup.

You alternately add in the flour and butter a little at a time, stirring very well each time.

Doves Farm gluten free plain white flour bend

This is the flour I used.  I am not sure if this particular brand/blend is available in the states, but here are its contents:

Rice, potato, tapioca, maize, and buckwheat flours

Okay, so, like I said, add a little bit of the melted butter, mix really well, add a sprinkle of flour, and repeat until the butter is gone and there is enough flour in there so that it looks like cake batter.  Oh, add the salt and mix really well at some point, too.

So, here is where I got a little  experiemental.  As you could see in that picture of the flour bag, there is an advisory that the recipes will need more liquid than typical with normal wheat flour.

I added a splash of milk to thin it up a little.

Now, while wheat isn’t an issue for me, milk is.  I used soy milk in the brownies last night and today I used lactose free.  The main purpose of this addition is just to thin the batter up, so it doesn’t really matter what kind of milk you use.

The milk added to the batter

Sorry for the gross picture.  I just wanted to reference how much milk I added

To thin it up just a little more, to be safe, add a few drops of water.  Only very little water at a time, stirring completely before adding any more.  I stop adding water when I am happy with the consistency- it should be runnier than normal brownie batter, but only slightly.

Ahhh.. that's just right.

Aww yeah.  You might be thinking at this stage that the batter really looks good enough to eat... and you’d be right ;)

Then grease up a tin.  We don’t have the right size (I’m pretty sure this recipe lends itself to a 9” tin), so I just use this slightly smaller one and load ‘er up, expecting thick brownies (nothing wrong with that).

Drop that bad boy into a preheated oven (150ºC on convection.. approximately 300ºF).  It takes about 40 minutes to bake, though I think that varies.  You will know it’s done when it has puffed up a good bit, doesn’t jiggle when you shake the tin, and that beautiful brownie crust starts cracking ever so slightly across the top.

Perfect!

Wait a little while, cut them up, and amaze your GF and non-GF friends, family, and significant others with your baking wizardry!

Badabing badaboom.. finished product.

Enjoy!  And don't fret over the empty jar of nutella.. it has served a purposeful life.

Yummy brownies = happy couples. It's simple math.

Houston, we have a layout

I am so proud of myself.  Tired of looking at that ugly brown and those stupid birds for so long, I finally dove into this design tab on blogger and managed to play with a layout and make my blog something somewhat more pleasing to my eyeballs.

If you can guess what inspired the color combination, I will personally bake you a batch of the most bangin' cookies your taste buds have ever experienced.  I will also give you a high five and maybe we can go for a run together sometime, because you are awesome.

Also, I think I'm pretty clever for splitting up a quote in the header and footer of the page.  So check that out- it's pretty much my favorite quote ever and really sums up how I feel about life, and the idea of defining one's self.  It's really the driving point behind a lot of what I do.



In other news, I have decided three things regarding my future.
1. I want to go back to college next year.
2. I know what I want to study.
3. I know where I want to study.
Now to just apply, write an excellent essay, and get in touch with the cross country coach.

I'm excited :)

Risky experimentation: a run and a nesquik coffee

Fed up with not running, I decided yesterday was as good a day as any to give a test run another go.
I have a nagging worry that I should keep from pounding my hip until I am absolutely 100% sure that it is completely healed.  I also have this hugely looming concern that just one mile too many will set me back weeks in returning to my former runner self (again).

But, my current frame of mind is this:  I need to run.

I am treating it as an experiment.  And really, there are only two potential hip-related results in reintroducing the activity:
a. My hip will hurt.
b. My hip will not hurt.

If a turns out to be the case, I honestly need to stop playing and go get an MRI to scope out any cartilage tears or bursitis or whatever. I have definitely rested enough for a hip flexor tear to heal.  Waiting and waiting and waiting for a muscular injury to heal when it is actually not a muscular injury at all would just be a giant, continued waste of time.
And if b is true, well jeez I'd better start taking advantage of my healthy body and find my bliss again.

So anyway, I ran 4 miles yesterday.  It was awesome.
Day after results: slight sensitivity in both my hips (wait what?).  Not enough to send me to the big magnetic donut, but enough to let me know I need to proceed with caution.
I am only going to let myself run every other day while I am still testing things out and I am going to get closer to my foam roller than I ever have before.

I'm trying not to let myself get too excited about running again.  I don't want to be too optimistic and end up overdoing it.  But it's hard to contain that excitement.   Something magical happens when I run.  I feel at home in my own body again.  I felt so within the very first minute of that run.  It's a good feeling.



Anyway, my other risky experiment:  nesquik coffee.

I've had this (weird?) habit of mixing ovaltine into my coffee for a while.  It's good, you should try it.  But we've been out of ovaltine for a while and I keep forgetting to pick some more up, so I've just been rocking a cup (or two or three) of black coffee or with added soy milk (so much tastier than lactose-free milk in coffee in my humble opinion) lately, depending on my mood.
But today I wanted ovaltine in my coffee, god dammit.  We didn't have any, of course, so I added powdered chocolate nesquik.

Result?
Interesting.  Chocolatey.  Not ovaltiney but decent enough... I guess.
I think tomorrow I'll stick to the black stuff, though.

Sometimes all you need is some rhythm

I ran my first half about three years ago, in preparation for my first 26.2.  Despite the name of the race's location (Rocky Hill, NY), I did not anticipate any of its hills.  I ran it with a stomach bug.  I was an energy gel novice.  I trudged along very, very slowly.

At one very difficult section of the race, I was struggling a lot.  There was a guy just behind me and to my left.  His feet were pounding along the pavement very loudly, and he was clearly as exhausted as I was.  But to accompany his tired footsteps, he sang, between breaths and like a metronome, Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Blues. The sadness of the song and the exhausted perseverance in his voice matched the tone of my tired, buzzing brain and methodically pounding feet perfectly.  His song was the fuel that somehow uplifted and carried me along the last five or six miles with a greater spirit, to a relatively strong finish.

To this day, whenever I am in a rough patch of a race or a run, my mind starts playing Folsom Prison Blues, and it eases me into the rhythm that I need.  Slow and steady, that song gets me through.